T, I saw this quote from Audrey Hepburn and thought of you.
I believe in pink. I believe laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day. I believe in miracles.
Thanks UW, it means a lot that you are proud of me and support me in all I do - even when I get ahead of myself, which I tend to do often lol!
Linda, I will have to look up that blog. I envisioned a more gradual awakening or lifting of the fog, but I would think everyone is different.
I know people have different opinions about journaling, but I really think it has helped me to not only release my negative emotions, but also to look back and see what was going on and how I was feeling at any given point in time.
Reading last summers' entries - wow - I don't think I realized how bad things were at the time. They were just better compared to bomb drop time.
So comparing things within a year's time, I do see progress, do see him coming closer to his home and family, farther away from her.
I'm sure he does not remember a lot of the events over the past year and a half.
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H came home around midnight last night. I was actually up for once, stayed up to watch "Silver Linings Playbook". So good!
H was friendly, and chatted a bit. Said he had a good time. He has said in the past that he is lonely, misses having friends. So I think it was good for him to go out with a buddy.
Today, H went to a resort about an hour and a half away in another state. Before I left for yoga yesterday, H says that they are playing 36 holes of holf today. And that he's taking his swim trunks to go in the pool a bit afterwards. And that they will probably get something to eat after that. He'll be home some time tonight. I just feel like the whole thing reeks of FT.
I decided to take today and do something really fun with the boys. So we went to the zoo and had a great time. We went early, no crowds, and the weather was perfect.
H was pretty good this morning before he left, but then could not look me in the eye when saying good bye. He did hug and kiss the boys goodbye.
I actually went out on a limb a bit and complimented H on his outfit today - told him that it looked nice. He seemed surprised, but also pleased. He then went on to talk about that he regrets getting rid of all of his bigger sized shorts last year when he lost a ton of weight. Joked that he has two options at this point - lose weight or buy some shorts. He said he wants to buy some shorts.
So yes T^2, I've been making some notations on my clipboard, while sipping on a beaker full of wine Interesting stuff.
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
T, you are allowed to feel grumpy. You are essentially a single parent for the most part, dealing with an MLCer having an affair. If you didnt get grumpy from time to time, I'd worry about you.
Good idea to get to bed early.
Do something nice for yourself tomorrow, if you can, my friend.
TVS I've been keeping up with your thread. I think you're doing great and have such a great attitude when I know how we are treated during all of this mlc junk.
Keep up the great work and you're allowed to be grumpy sometimes. It's hard to put on a happy face all the time when we know they are lying half the time.
I don't believe a word my h says anymore. He said he broke it off with OW but she was quick to tell me they didn't. I don't know how long it takes to get them out of their system so be prepared for that too. It sure looks like your h is getting closer to you. Remember, baby steps.
Enjoy your vacation coming up.
M 48 H 50 M 25 T 27 D 20,18,15 6/11 H filed 3/12 H dropped 4/12 H moved out
T the blog about what that man Newman remembered abouthis MLC was so interesting. It's a self-help site for men, and there's also a quiz on there to help a man determine if he's in MLC. I can't see a man who is actually IN the middle of a MLC having enough self awareness to recognize that something is wrong and seek out a quiz to diagnose if he is in crisis or not.
Does your H have another "golf outing" planned for today? That's funny that you wrote he thanked you for "letting him go." that is what I am trying to do -- let it all go. Buy we sure don't any say over whether our Hs go or not, they are going to do exactly what they want, when they want.
Hope you got a good night's sleep and feel better today!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Linda, Newman posted on the MLC Forum for a while a few years ago. You may want to do a search and read what he posted to the readers.
I actually was a member of his Forum for about 3 years. Unfortunately, his wife was diagnosed w/cancer and she was fighting for her life about the time I left. Phoenix stood her ground when Newman was in MLC and she's a smart lady. The Forum has changed quite a bit since the days that I was a member there. There use to be a number of Forums that anyone could post to, i.e., men and women.
The quiz that you were referring to was used by both the men in mlc, as well as the spouses as a check off list to help them identify if their "men" were in crisis.
TV, I hope that today is a better day for you and you were able to get some rest last night. Your trip isn't that far off and who knows...the phone could easily be misplaced or dropped. LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Which is a good thing, since H hardly slept again, and I was up with the kids at 6:15 am.
Snodderly, I was a member of that forum before here. I found it very negative though, and they definitely didn't have a DB mentality. Also, seemed to be little traffic, took forever to get a response. I remember Phoenix - she did have a lot of wise things to say. Now that I think about it, she reminds me of you
And it would be a shame if say, oh I don't know, the window was down and his cell phone just happened to go flying out into traffic while we're speeding along on the highway. Just saying
Linda, he did have more golfing planned, but I think it was legit. I feel like when he uses the debit card to pay for things, he's telling the truth. When he pays with cash, that's a red flag that he's hiding something.
And you are right, they are going to do what they want to do regardless of us, yet they seem to want our approval.
Umm, sorry H, but I'm NEVER going to approve of your affair!!!
Hi Complicated, thanks for stopping by! I know you have been at this for quite awhile too.
The lying is hard, isn't it? I tend to not believe a word that comes out of my H's mouth. It's sad.
I can't even begin to think about OW withdrawal - wait, what's that sound - it's UW reminding me to NOT GET AHEAD OF MYSELF! Still, I can only imagine how difficult that would be. To me, our H's should be worried about losing US, not some worthless ho bag.
Speaking of...
Hi UW, I think I've gotten over my grumpy hump - at least for today.
Even though I try, and I really do, to not be resentful towards H, it does rear it's ugly head from time to time.
I just get tired of all his bullsh!t - and of always having the one to hold everything together.
Off to grocery store now - at least that's kid free today - will post more later
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
