"I have philosophical differences n the way I thought about this sitch, and they never matched my w's."
You still don't understand. They weren't "philosophical" differences. She made it very clear how you treated her over the years and tried to set things right, but you didn't understand or try to understand enough to deal with it.
"I realize I can't win this battle and I will surrender."
This is not a battle. That's been your problem. You feel like you have to "win". You don't. There are no winners. A M is based on compromise and compassionate understanding on both parts. You've always felt that it has to be your way and didn't try to see her POV.
" I wish I could have just given her the D at the beginning, I would probably gotten more respect if I had. Hindsight!"
No you wouldn't have. The way you get her respect is by listening to her. And I'm not talking about the D. I don't know what else to tell you to get through to you. She has always wanted to feel SAFE. You NEVER addressed that on your own and still gloss over that. I told you time and time again about that, but you ignored it. AND she even wrote it in her recent letter to you.
If you would have tried to understand enough to make her feel safe, she would respect you more. You're going backwards again.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
