This is so hard. It is a death, isnt it, of what you had and of what you thought your life was going to be.
So, you are grieving. You have to go through all the stages to come out the other side. And the thing is, that you go back and around the stages before you get to where you need to be.
Dont be so hard on yourself. We all do this in our own time, in our own way.
I hate him so much and because of this program and my other program all I say to him is okay, sounds good via email or text message.
I really want to say I HATE YOU A$$HOLE. Do you think its easy taking care of 2 toddlers by yourself!!
It is so hard some days with my girls. I want to be a good mom but they make me insane with the whiny. I am in tears right now. I want to call my partner and talk about how hard it is with toddlers but instead he is emailing me about selling our rental condo. I couldnt give a crap I just want to make it through the night without losing my sh!t on my daughters.
I feel like such a bad mom. I cant stay calm, I can't figure out dinner and I can't keep a father around for them. This is why he left me cause I cant do it.
I need help and my mom was just with me for a day and I honestly cant stand her. She is part of my problem she makes me nuts. Nuts! but I need the help so I don't know what to do.
I keep checking these boards praying for a miracle. Praying it will get easier but it isn't
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Take a deep breath, you CAN do this. I know how you feel when you say you feel like a bad mom, I have those days/weeks, too. Try not to be so hard on yourself, those are tough ages and you are not only handling it all alone, you are also dealing with a terrible situation in addition to being a single mom.
Why are you so hung up on this and don't want to let it go when everyone tells you how great divorce is? Because it isn't what you want and also because you are doing the work on yourself that is necessary for this M or a future one to work out long term. Most people don't do that, they just move on to the next relationship without healing or growing and they have all of the same problems.
I am sorry you are alone and this is so hard. I will be sending some positive thoughts and prayers your way Brooklyn.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
Your H left you because he has lost his mind, not because of anything you did and didn't do.
Being a parent is the hardest job there is, and being a single parent can stretch you to your limits.
We all have those moments and days where our patience level is on low, and it takes everything not to lose it.
You are an AMAZING mom, I mean that, the deep love you have for your daughters shining through each time you write about them.
I am sorry you are so sad, that your H has dumped everything on you and left you with a huge freakin mess to clean up. You and your girls deserve so much better.
Hang in there, B- Mom. I wish I had more comforting or encouraging words to help you or make you feel better.
All I can say is that we all love you and care about you here.
Please try to do something small for yourself after you get the girls to bed tonight. Call a friend. Read a magazine. Take a bubble bath. Go to bed yourself and get some much needed rest.
Thinking of you
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
When your kids get cranky and whiny is it because they are tired? Can you change the mood with them? Get outside? To the pool? Ice cream? I am just trying to help and I know sometimes if you distract the kids it changes the energy.
I have those days a lot. Try to relax. If you need to talk post here because we get it.
Your H did not "leave" because of you. Those are his issues. Don't let him make this about you. It's about him and his inability to cope, not yours.
Go for a run. Chase the kids. Cry it out into a pillow. Get it out. Scream punch a bag. Get your frustrations out!!! This is hard!!!
Talk to us. Tell us how you feel. Cry on our shoulders. We are here!!
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
The main issue I have with my girls is they want my attention ALLL the time.
We go to the lake, they insist I play. We hang at home they want Mommy to play. I put on a video and the little one wants me to sit and watch it while she squeezes my nipples. It hurts.
Most of the time I can play with them and enjoy, they are only this age once and they are so cute!! but sometimes its just toooo much. The constant Mommy mommy moommmmy mommmy mommy mommy moommmmy mommmy mommmy. It goes on and on and on.
Thanks for your thoughts wh - it helps to know I am not alone!
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Hey Bklyn!!! Sorry you're having such a tough time. I have to admit, I laughed. Just a little. Not at you, but it's just how I deal with things. I honestly don't know how you do it. Those ages, that close together, I remember feeling overwhelmed during those times and my w was involved.
You'll get through it! They do get easier to manage, less needy of their parent. I wish you could send them down here for an hour or two. Mine left 4 hours ago and I've run out of things to do. When mine were those ages we would go to the cemetery to relax. No slides to get hurt on or swings to push. They would run around and hide behind headstones whe we sat and watched.
You're an amazing lady! Your daughters are learning to be one too.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Oh, B, I am sorry you are having such a tough day.
First of all, calling him and saying you hate him really isnt going to help you. You might feel better for a minute, but, he is someone who will be in your life forever no matter what happens. It is best to try to keep your relationship civil.
Secondly, he didnt leave because of you. He is broken, B. You can see that. This is about him.
You are a wonderful mom. All of us have had those days, without the added stress of your sitch.
Dont be so hard on yourself, sweetie.
Take it moment to moment. You do the best you can, that's all anyone can ask of you.
Is there anyway to call a friend and get a break? Is there a little program they could go to? I know there used to be stuff through the parks department and the library that dont cost much or anything.
Do you have a friend with kids you can take turns giving each other a break? You have to find a way to recharge yourself.
Everything you feel is completely normal and it doesn't make you a bad mom it just means you're human and you're getting worn out.
There constant neediness will wind down and one day you'll notice the difference, it'll just sneak up on you. Try to make a list of places you can take them to get a little break for yourself. It's good for them and good for you. ((((bklynmom))))
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
