I wish I could have just given her the D at the beginning, I would probably gotten more respect if I had. Hindsight!
Sorry to say, you still don't get it. You haven't grown,you haven't changed, all you have tried to do is convince your wife to change her mind. Had you actually detached, gotten a life, given her the space she requested and improved yourself, she may have done so. The only reason everyone is telling you to sign is because you ignored and harassed her for so long while supposedly "DBing". I didn't see any posts from a year or so ago telling you to give her a D. They are only telling you that now because you ignored the advice for so long it is your only option. Therefore, your "hindsight" that you should have given her a divorce at the beginning is just you rewriting the advice so you still don't have to do to the work.
The D alone doesn't give you hope that she will come back, she won't. Growing up, becoming a better person and learning to listen to your STBXW may.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
