The Show Must Go On

[adinva]

yes yes! Tell me the bright side! I promise I won't bludgeon you.

You all and labug have me thinking I need to shift my focus.

[RosaLinda]

Sorry you and your GF are both feeling a bit down, Bright. That is so true about other people's moods infecting us like a virus. You need a PMA vaccine! 

I believe this too, Tori and Ruby " "I need some positive things in my life right now." I will sound New-Agey, but it's the truth: by saying this, you are putting yourself in a position of needing (lacking) good things in your life. So guess what will happen. You will attract more lack. Focus on what is good in your life."

I watched a video named "The Secret" on youtube about thinking positively and the law of attraction. The premise is that we attract what we focus on. One part that resonated with me was the narrator saying that people tend to focus more on things they don't want or are afraid of, and then wonder why it appears over and over. They are attracting more of what they are afraid of. I think about the damned RT a LOT. So maybe I attracting her? I dunno, but gotta stop! But how...I will snap my Snodderly elasiic hair band on my arm when she comes to mind. 

Ruby I'll try it for a week like you did! Thanks!

Bright, maybe you could just send your H a text telling him you paid the CC? I think it's a good sign that he contacts you!!!

[JuneReN]

Okay...case in point? Laundry...WTF is good about laundry?

How about "I have clothes to wash"

or

I own a washer and dryer.

H and I always used to joke then when things got tight or an unexpected bill came up, the funds would always appear. It got to the point where we expected this to happen and it always did.

The key for me is to visualize that everything will be good. The what ifs will kill you.

[RosaLinda]

Sorry you and your GF are both feeling a bit down, Bright. That is so true about other people's moods infecting us like a virus. You need a PMA vaccine! 

I believe this too, Tori and Ruby " "I need some positive things in my life right now." I will sound New-Agey, but it's the truth: by saying this, you are putting yourself in a position of needing (lacking) good things in your life. So guess what will happen. You will attract more lack. Focus on what is good in your life."

I watched a video named "The Secret" on youtube about thinking positively and the law of attraction. The premise is that we attract what we focus on. One part that resonated with me was the narrator saying that people tend to focus more on things they don't want or are afraid of, and then wonder why it appears over and over. They are attracting more of what they are afraid of. I think about the damned RT a LOT. So maybe I attracting her? I dunno, but gotta stop! But how...I will snap my Snodderly elasiic hair band on my arm when she comes to mind. 

Ruby I'll try it for a week like you did! Thanks!

Bright, maybe you could just send your H a text telling him you paid the CC? I think it's a good sign that he contacts you!!!

[BrightFuture]

Tori, Ruby, I completely agree with you. I’ve been trying to think positive. Yes, I do have all these things in my life and I’m grateful for that. There are a few things though, that worry me right now. It’s been 2 months since my contract ended and I haven’t been working. My car broke down and the repair was very expensive, plus my mechanic said that there are more problems down the road. I really needed to replace this car while I was employed, but I was procrastinating. Now, it is not a good time to do it. All this, plus my GF’s problems contributed to my moods.

Linda, I watched the movie “The Secret” a few weeks ago. I think it is a good time to watch it again.

Ruby, I am trying really hard to see positive in every situation. You are right that “what if’s” can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think I learnt it hard way.

I’ve sent my H a text today telling him that he can use my computer to enter his receipts. No reply so far. I have a few options in my head why he didn’t reply to my previous text and now this one, but I don’t want to speculate. It is weird thought, because these are business related texts that he would normally reply to. Is he trying to do a NC on me now, hehe?

[BrightFuture]

H replied to my text a few hours later with an excuse that he didn’t see the text on “damn smart phone”. He asked me if my computer would be available next morning. I replied and said that he would text or call in the morning. He tried to access my computer next morning, but had some kind of error. So, he texted me to let me know. I texted back that I was not home at the moment and could not help him, but I would check it when I get home. Next morning he texted me again and asked me if he could try again. He was very polite in his texts explaining to me that he needed to get it done and thanked me for my help. He called me later to ask me to check if everything was saved on my computer. I was walking my dog and told him that I would do it when I get home. We had a little chat, he told me that his brother (BIL) told him about my GF’s visiting. I told him that she went to our vacation home with me and he was pleasantly surprised. Later he sent me another text with some business info.

I don’t how other LBSs handle it, but it hurts when my H communicates with me like with the distant business partner. His politeness just kills me. I know that it is better than listening to the spills of venom like in some other sitches. I guess I just have my hopes up again… Hopes that my H still has some special feelings for me... I know, expectations… Also, I think there is a fear that we are growing further and further apart and there is less and less hope for R. I’m not sure why he became so extremely polite and accommodating recently. It doesn’t seem to bother him that we still have a joint business and I can see all his expenses and records.

[Wonka]

Bright,

I think the WASes have a hard time communicating with us at a personal level because they don't want to feel feelings for us. Hence the seemingly coldness they display toward us. My DXW did not talk to me for years and years other than just a friendly HBD texts once a year to wish me a Happy Birthday. Now, we are texting a bit more each month and have had two phone calls three months apart recently. As you probably can see from my thread that my DXW moves at a g-l-a-c-i-a-l pace...

Sorry that I have not read up on your sitch. What is the current status? Is H still living in another state? Is the joint business you do on a part-time basis? Is there any way you can increase your hours to generate income for yourself?
Just wondering as I am not as clued in the sitch as you are.

[RosaLinda]

Thanks for all your encouraging words on my thread, Bright. I'm sorry your H's texts hurt you so much. Sort of cold and business-like right? I always think it's positive that he contacts you, sorry that it hurts though. How about answering one of his texts or emails with a phone call?

[BrightFuture]

Wonka, thanks for stopping by. I’ve got ILBNILWY one year ago on the phone. H was working in another state at that time. His work is seasonal and he works in this state for a few months until it gets cold there. During the winter months he was leaving in our vacation home in Mexico. He went back to work in the middle of May and probably will not come back until November or December. He wants to leave and retire in our vacation home. It was his idea that I will retain the house and he will have the vacation home. I recently refinanced the house on my name and he gave me the release (claim deed form), so I own the house right now. But we are still jointly own the vacation home, and it seems that he doesn’t mind me being there while he is out. It seems that he is actually happy I go there and bring my family and friends. When he works in another state, he stays in his camper, or rents a room in friend’s house, or stays at the hotels. So, right now he doesn’t have a home in the states. His mail still comes to now my house and he asked me to forward some of it to him periodically. He asked me if he could park his car at the house and I agreed.

As for the business, it is just to maintain the self-employed status. We don’t have any employees. We both work on contract basis. So, when I have a contract, the money is paid to the business and then I pay myself a salary. When I don’t have work, there is no money coming to the business. Same for him.


Linda, thanks for your support. I know that I should look at the increased contact from H as a positive sign. I like Wonka’s idea that his politeness and coldness is to convince himself that there are no feelings. I do hope that he still has feelings for me. Actually, I do believe that he has the loving feelings, I just hope that romantic feelings for me will return as well.

I’m trying to adjust to this level of contact, so I don’t feel nervous when he calls. I will still keep all interaction about business, unless he will show an interest in talking to me about other things. I know that I need to be patient and take one day at a time.

[RosaLinda]

"I like Wonka’s idea that his politeness and coldness is to convince himself that there are no feelings. I do hope that he still has feelings for me. Actually, I do believe that he has the loving feelings, I just hope that romantic feelings for me will return as well."

I'm sure he does love you, Bright. I hope the romance does return. For all of us. I've been trying to be positive, and every day thank God that my H loves me passionately and romantically. I believe that it will happen! Someday!

That's rotten that his calls make you so nervous. Is it because his texts are so business-like but he wanted to chat on the phone?