Wanted to post Cadet's quote from another thread that I thought you might benefit from:
Here's my take on this answer.
I believe that 100% of LBS's get to make the final decision in this matter in the end.
And if you are one of the ones that have not made that decision yet, well then it is not yet the end!
So true. Ultimately the decision rests on us on whether to keep on standing or to end the M.
Your W is testing you...as evidenced by this comment: When I told her that leaving the house was for my mental health and to help me move on because being there would be too difficult while she started a new life with AP she asked, "what if I don't go to her and I just go back to my brother's"... status quo
From my perspective, she is definitely waffling between you and the AP. She is still hooked on the drug of choice which is not yet completely out of her system yet. This brings up the boundary issue...how far do you want to go in setting up a boundary here and be prepared to walk away if W does cross it. That is a choice that only you can make.
Ya know... when we talk, all the little things over the past few months... texts, emails, conversations where she says that she doesn't know what's wrong with her and she doesn't think that she and AP are right for each other deep down and she loves me, we're "broken not bent"... she says she doesn't remember sending me those things or doesn't know why she sent them if I ask her about them
This all makes me wonder if W is having some sort of MLC or is so stressed out about many factors such as unemployment, bickering with AP, going back and forth between you and the AP that she is probably forgetful. The one thing that makes me sit up straight is the "don't know what's wrong with me" comment. This is a very typical MLC response. I even told that to my DXW. Makes you go "hmmmm...isn't that interesting" to borrow from Stubborn's playbook.
Perhaps you might want to step back to ground yourself, get your bearings back, and evaluate what has transpired over the last few days. Hopefully you will be able to gain some clarity from a different perspective.
We're here for YOU, RT, and support whatever choice you feel is best for you and your W. Not easy at all.
We will get through this together. We will get through this together. We will get through this together!
