I don't think that it is about "predictability" or "knowing the answers and outcomes". Rather, for me I guess it is just about understanding....or trying to understand elements that are whirling around in my situation.
Unless how MLC has been described here has been voided out as total bs, it is helpful on some level to have a framework (though not patently universal) that provides SOME kind of insight as to what may be in motion with regard to the dynamic between LBS and WAS.
It is not a better place to be, but for pragmatics like myself (curse, not a blessing) its just a different lens to look through. I would be the first to tell anyone that arrives here that there is no such thing as "if/thens" in the life of a LBS. I've accepted that. There is just too much going on to have assurances now. However, having a simple framework (that may or may not apply) helps sometimes. And, admittedly, sometimes it can provide a ray of hope that MAYBE things will be back on track one day.....as you can see examples of how real people have made their way through it and somehow come through the other side with their families in one piece.
Like stories and experiences shared in DB, it is helpful to look at a pool of common experiences, relate it to where you are, and say "yeah, I think that may be what is going on with me". Not that there is a template, but relatable ideas, experiences, thoughts, and even language. And, as I see it, it all ties back to the best friends/worst enemies of a LBSs - hope and time.
I suspect that I will get nailed for this^^^^ - maybe deservedly so. Just trying to honestly answer the question.
25 - I will freely admit it. When it comes to GAL right now I suk. Period. I feel overwhelmed with a new job, work that needs to be done on the house, bouts of exhaustion, and a lingering sense of social paralysis and anxiety. I can't seem to get the wontons to to put myself out there like you did. I know it helps, I know it matters.....academically I am aware of the value. I just struggle with execution. I also struggle with finding things that sound "fun". Maybe I just need to look harder.
With regard to XW dating. I've often wondered to myself if that would be a bit of an awakening for her - not that it matters, and not that I am the greatest guy on Earth - but I am aware that it is pretty tough out there - I'm discovering that myself. Nonetheless, I'm going to try to date - I figure it is best.
I think the thought part is that it is not as if XW is out of my heart. So the image of her being with another stings. Though I suspect she isn't "there" yet. Likewise, with me having feelings for her still its tough to really connect with another. And if you say you are looking to "casually date" and see what happens many women will see that as "I'm looking to sleep around with no commitment". Whatever - what will be will be.
