Grace, Love, Compassion & Faith - Huge Impact

[Valeska19]

@labug - you know what... I can't even state it succinctly? Guess I need to work on that.

@SD - I understand what you are saying...and I believe it. I have that struggle on a consistent basis between understanding who a person is/what they want and balancing that with my own wants and who I am.

But the truth is... certain kinds of relationships don't make me feel good inside. And it's up to ME to decide what to do about it.

For example:

XW - responded apologizing for the delay in response. She was on an 8 day meditation retreat.

I said no worries. I didn't re-ask my question.

a few hours later she mentioned that we could talk but it couldn't be until August.

Me: Gotcha well just to check back in with me when you get back into town.
X: Well how about this.. because I may forget, just reach out early August and we'll pick a day
Me: I understand that mentality but I'd rather not bug you about it. If you forget then it wasn't meant to be.
X: (delayed response) Fair enough

Now I fully admit that my gut response was anger and a feeling that she doesn't care. Because I know I wouldn't forget something like that if it was important to the other person.

And I know that's mind-reading and something I need to work on...

However - I'm not going to disregard that my LL is Time and people I want in my life want to spend time with me. They don't forget when they make plans, they don't ask for reminders to hang out.

It's not that people are who are forgetful are doing anything wrong, it just doesn't work for me emotionally.

And instead of being resentful about it... I have three options really.

1. Let the issue go.
2. Let the person go.
3. Teach them how I want to be treated.

And IMO - it's far TOO OFTEN that I chose number one.

Because I'm scared of #2

And because I don't know how to communicate #3

#3 - is what I tried to explain to xw without pressuring her or making her feel bad about forgetting..

... I just don't know if I succeeded.