Still about the W

[RosaLinda]

Hi SailingAlone, nice to meet you! I read your posts on T^2's thread, and wanted to let you know that I think you're doing great. DB is SO counter-intuitive, the hardest (and most important) thing most of us will ever attempt.

About your W deciding to quit her job, attend school and move 4 hours away, yikes. Hopefully that is just crazy MLC talk. My H has had a lot of pie-in-the-sky ideas, that he seems to forget about immediately. I post about them on my thread in a panic, the vets tell me not to worry, and he goes on to the next crazy thing in a day or two.

I also think it's great that you got yourself DB coaching. Isn't it so helpful? I have Chuck, and he has helped me enormously. I agree with Forever that it's best for you to ignore your W's EA with that man at the gym. Chuck told me that "this is divorce busting not affair busting" and the best thing to do is to ignore the affair as best we can. He advised (and all of the vets here say the same thing) to give our spouses space and do not approach them, but be approachable and loving when they choose to approach us first (like the reaching to hold her hand thing vs. her cuddling up to you in bed). Also to really really GAL, which you seem to be doing. It's great that you are trying to show the 5 LL to your daughters, but maybe you could involve them in some of your GAL activities? Take them flying? Try to find something fun to do with them on the nights your W goes to the gym? I hate to see five casualties of your W's MLC, instead of just the two of you.

Keep up the great work