i keep thinking same thing - then go searching again thinking what an expenditure of my time it will be driving allover creation to get the teeth- go for fitting- pick back up (hopefully only for a day or two - they say anyway). i didn't ask price - now i'll have to listen (til i die) about how too much it was - it's always something.
i know inside it's "her" not me- the neeeed to have an "enemy" allllll the time to vent her frustration at being old - and she can't fix it . she says THAT rite out. BUT - THEN, i'm her only kid around she feels ABLE TO B!TCH AT_- you know, have POWER of any kind whatsoever over anything or anyone- so ta da. EVEN KNOWING IT in my head and hert - and i do , believe me - WHEN she RANTS and gets going- something inside just RESPONDS to your mother/s demands, complaints- "PAIN" OR so i assume.
whatever it is- however much (so far anyway) i have it in a place in me- she opens hermouth and i jump. and if i don't "jump" rite then- i do ultimately. i hate to think she's sufferin or unhapyp or needs something really badly which i know NO ONE else is goig to bother to know or do-
so , bippity - boppity- there i go. i need to find someone to stop in on her when i'm gone (a big job) need to begin today.
appt for teeth is today. H in fl took his aunt to hospital yesterday with pneumonia - she's very bad. smoked for 60+ yrs and her lungs are in very bad shape - if antibiotics can kick the disease - will see if she can be taken off ventilator. i feel sorry- she's a nice woman and probably he's closer to her than was his dad or mother even.
geeeez - always something huh?
xxoo i'm not sure how much his dad's death in march & now this affects him. he says (and thinks? ) he's not terrible affected by it all -
he cares and can't even admit to self. i don't think he knows that you don't do this stuff if you don't "care".
i guess he hates the notion in his head that he could "care" for anyone??? is that what it is??? idk- i may be one giant emotional basket case alot- but i'm glad i know what i care about and can say it and feel it and no shame there.
