It's very simple. She wants to be in control of everything in her life, which doesn't sound bad but what's bad is she wants to be right all the time. And it almost looks like when she senses somebody might cut her off she tries to cut them off before they can do it? - She might be scared of being abandoned?
Idk but that's what I feel from her actions.
M37 H36 M8 T12 inc 3yr L-dist 7/12:H broke down 10/12:H dad D frm W4. BD soon after 1/13:H wants to leave 2/13:H gpa passed. Feels closer but H still leaving 3/13: S begins
She does have abandonment issues. All to do with her parents.
She never felt really loved as a child, her Mom never showed an interest in her. Her sister who is biological daughter to W's ST and her M always came first. They have a much improved relationship now but her sister is still No1.
Her SF was an aggressive drunk who has mellowed now.
Her father who didn't show his face until she was a teen then was very inappropriate with her. She forgave him after she started going to church. I met him a few years ago. He is a very unstable person. Passive aggressive, depressive, hooked on meds, delusional.
Her parents actions have definitely to a certain degree help sculpt her into the person she is today.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Sorry you are facing all of this! I do hope Sandi will come by shortly!
IMO this wasn’t unexpected! It’s not the sex thing, but she is continuing on the same path: texts, clothing and now this e-mail. She want’s control! I agree with you and AS. This one needs an answer but keep it short! The suggestion from AS sounds fine to me!
How are you doing? You sound all right, but are you?
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
I was really set back this afternoon. Didn't know what to do with myself when I got home. Went to see a movie which helped take my mind off it. Got back and went for run.
Feel much better now. The roller coaster is just as high but it's over much quicker. Probably hit me again in the morning.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I'm not in complete agreement but I'm sure we can work things out through our solicitors."
I was so unsure whether to or not. Feel better for doing it. The ball is back in her court but I feel like I have some control.
Thought it would hit me again this morning but I feel fine.
Divorce was complete terror many months ago. It felt like the end of the world. I'm sure there's much more heartache to come but I'm not as afraid of it as I was.
I'm in the best shape of my life, I look good and I feel good. I'm more confident and outgoing than I have ever been before. I never even really felt like I was a 'catch' before. Now I know I am. Onwards and upwards!
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Is she asking how I wish to proceed as in via solicitors or proceed with a divorce?
How does this sound?
Statement: "If you are going ahead with a divorce petition you don't give me much option"
Question 1 "If you are going ahead with a divorce petition what other option do I have?"
Question 2 "Are you asking whether I wish to proceed via a solicitor or with a divorce?"
The statement is the strongest reply but least caring. Question 1 is somewhere in the middle and Question 2 is the weakest but most caring.
I want to reply because I want to know what she is referring to.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
M37 H36 M8 T12 inc 3yr L-dist 7/12:H broke down 10/12:H dad D frm W4. BD soon after 1/13:H wants to leave 2/13:H gpa passed. Feels closer but H still leaving 3/13: S begins
Perhaps I am thinking too much! Sandi wrote that she would come at you and isn’t this just more of the same? I would seriously consider stalling the answer to this mail for some days!
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
