You can ask that question all day long, but what is it gonna matter right now. Your not gonna get the answers you want or satisfy your question.
It has to be about you, detaching, and letting your spouse figure their own crap out. You can sit and wait, or you can make the changes you need to make for yourself. I know how repetitive that sounds on these boards, but unfort. its the truth, you can make your partner think anything.
Will it get to a point your partner "gets it"? Heck no one on this planet knows that answer, including your spouse. IMO don't think about what they're thinking, control what your thinking.
My wife is finally understanding whats she's done to our family, but that doesn't mean crap right now. She may or may not come back, I know deep down I cant let myself think or hope she will, it does me no good.
