New and need encouragement

[Not Quitting]

Thanks for your thoughts Demoted. Strange how it takes an anonymous forum to get real support.

My MIL hasn't heard my side of things - she's in the UK so I don't see her and phone calls tend to be restricted to birthdays, Mother's Day (different date in UK than North America) and Christmas. She used to say she thought of me as a daughter. H said she liked me which is something he couldn't say about XW1 & XW2 - she didn't like either of them.

Saw H tonight unexpectedly. He doesn't drive and was waiting for his bus home when I drove past. As it was raining I decided to play nice and offer him a ride. Dropped him off at the place he's staying. Talked about weather and S13. I did ask how he's doing - probably wrong - but he willingly answered. Said some days up, some down. I just acknowledged, offered no opinion. It was his decision to leave after all. He definitely isn't happy - I know him well enough to pick that up. Felt a bit emotional after he got out of the car - at least I waited til he'd gone to shed a few tears.

The people he's staying with are like surrogate parents to him and they want him to fix it or at least try harder. He's not allowed to have friends over so he won't be seeing OW at their place and they've told me they'll try and give him their marital wisdom. They only accepted their D's divorce because it was an abusive relationship. They helped their S solve his marriage problems so hopefully H will listen to them.

If he's not careful he's gonna lose his old friends, the ones who have tried to talk to him. I've only met a few of his new friends and they're not much older than my stepsons. They only know the new him. As for my friends, I've told them now that I will only discuss my marriage with them if I want to. If they try to bring it up I quickly change the subject or find an excuse to leave. So far it's working fairly well - they now only ask if I'm doing ok.