DB seemingly backfired w/ my H???

[Mimi00]

After than I left. 30 mins later, H only concerned with himself too, texts me and asks if he should find another place to stay when his sister drives him home tomorrow. I said No. The later told him there are some things that need to be discussed for moving forward so it's best he stay with me at the house. I decided to show the kindness that I was not shown at their home.

I met up with my friends, I decided to enjoy the rest of my time and not go home as H suggested, I stayed the night over my friends house. H's sister drove him back to my parents home the next morning. I drove home alone and arrived later in the after noon.

H spent the entire day away from home and came back around 11pm. I was in my room. He came in and spoke, I told him what happened the day before with him pressuring my to leave on my own accord, instead of simply saying he wanted me to go was wrong of him and he needs to say what he means and not beat around the bush. He said ok. He then said he wants to go to the domestic relations court the next day and get whatever info we need to start the process for dissolution, fill the paperwork out then file before he leaves.

I kindly told him I looked up the reasons you site for divorce and the definition of dissolution and neither apply to me (as I want to work on the marriage). H gave a weird smirk and kind of laughed and asked what did I mean. I said I meant exactly what I stated. He smirked and said it I didn't want to cooperate for dissolution, he'll just go the divorce route. He got up and went to his room. About 10 mins later he came back and laid on the floor in my room and went to sleep. Kind of odd. He slept until about 4 am then when back to his room.

The next day I rode to the courts with him and then to the law library so he could get copies of the paper work needed for dissolution. I told him again I didn't agree. He expressed his frustration..... and then I threw in the towel and told him whatever he wants I'll do. I'm tired of fighting alone and he seems set on his decision with out even giving us a fair chance to be together (since we've been apart for the last 6 months b/c of his job), even for a few more weeks, to work on anything.


Things got busy Tuesday, so I asked him if he could give me just a little time before filing. Things felt so rushed. In April he said "maybe we shouldn't be together", May & June I did DB and avoided talking about us, July he shows up with his mind already set on leaving.

So he decided we didn't have to file right now. He said over the next few weeks we'll figure out the paper work then he'll fly back in to file, then fly back in for the court hearing. I cooked again tuesday, his favorite foods and invited one of his good friends to join us. It was nice. Last night we packed up his stuff. He had no physical pictures of us with him, so I made him a book of photos with his own personal pics and then some of ours from when we were dating until now; as I'm no longer following any rules. We laid together and fell asleep. I dropped him off at the airport this morning. Since I spent the last two months not saying "i love you" following advice, I decided my last one as I hugged him goodbye. He said it in return.

I'm so hurt, but so tired of crying. I feel like I'm all out of options and resource. I guess at this point I should just let him go? What else can I do?

Reasons H said he's leaving:
He's taken care of others all his life, and he wants to focus on himself finally. He's damaged b/c of his past and now b/c of our relationship. He's the happiest he's ever been with where he is in life but his heart is back to the "old him" who he was long before we met (I'm not sure what he means by that. I deserve better, he can no longer love me any more like I need to be loved. He wanted us to work badly over the years but I was "checked out" in his opinion, and now that I'm checked-in and ready to work on us, it's too late--he no longer has any fight for us left inside of him--he's tried everything.

He says by divorcing he will be the one starting from scratch, with no family or support. I have family and support, I will be ok. He has nothing. (he doesn't want the burden of our belongings to he's letting me have it all; whoopie for me *sarcasm*. I have been staying with my parents, waiting on his travel job assignment to end, I barely make $400 every two weeks. H makes $2,000+ every two weeks; but he doesn't see that, he says the money means nothing to him and he's only focused on me having "family/support" as being my saving grace)

I told him my family (unlike his family) has treated him like their own. My parents made a point to visit us several times a year. My father has helped him purchase a car, bought him a new laptop; whatever he needed we were there for him. His family didn't even give him/us the time of day unless we went to visit them. He now realizes all his family does is take and he says he's cutting him self off from everyone for the next 6 months. If they don't care about him he doesn't care about them.

Everyone says not to believe anything the WAS says, so I don't know if I should believe him or not for his reasoning.


I'm drained from this entire situation. So i guess I've given up?