Does it matter if its WAW or MLC, treat the same?

[25yearsmlc]

THE TITLE OF THIS THREAD GOT ME HERE..

IMO

the labels are not important. I think A WHOLE LOT of time is wasted trying to label a spouse as MLC b/c somehow someone thinks that it makes more sense to them,

OR b/c they mistakenly believe an MLCer is more likely to come home than a WAS.

I have no evidence to support that. But there are two things to remember.

1) spending time asking WHY/HOW COULD THEY??? is a waste of time b/c you are NOT working on yourself then

and that tends to be a big plus for some LBSers. They don't want to work on themselves or take a brave look within, they WANT their spouse to be MLC and then they can shake their heads and act as if their spouse is "just so crazy". They can avoid the self growth or the journey inward that is the only upside to this ordeal (ie the personal growth of the LBSer).

2) spending time asking WHY/HOW is a waste of time b/c it does NOT CHANGE YOUR COURSE OF ACTION...it usually delays it.

Your course of action is the same regardless of WAS/MLC.

GAL and do 180s and move forward. Doing those things helps you DETACH which is the other action.

So if there are any "secrets" to getting thru this ordeal, it's above^^^ in bold

and the sooner you get on it, the better.

I wasted a YEAR diagnosing my h instead of planning for my new life and my kids.

But once I woke up and assumed h was not coming home but that I was going to be happy anyhow,


paradoxically I did all that for ME but it seemed to lead to h waking up.

You cannot do it as a tactic - but it is the most likely way or the only way to get a few of these spouses home.

Not most. Not half. But some.

And GAL and working on yourself, digging deep and bravely, always (100% of the time) makes YOU a better person. And that's not a small thing.