Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

[dorightman]

ok, what about?


I understand that you feel done and you want a D.
I feel that we have not given each other enough time and space to see if our feelings could change. I love you and I don't want a D. I'm asking you to give us 6 months of a proper separation, I will move out and get my own space. If after the next six months your feelings haven't changed, then I will accept a D.

[labug]

Time for a little deductive reasoning knowing the needs she's expressed to you on numerous occasions, and your inability to hear those needs, what do you think her response will be?

[dorightman]

Time for a little deductive reasoning knowing the needs she's expressed to you on numerous occasions, and your inability to hear those needs, what do you think her response will be?

It will probably be too late right? I'm just trying to figure out how I could turn this around because Bond said I still could.

After your initial advice, I texted her to find a mediator and write down what she wanted to take from the house. I was accepting the mediation. I guess the mediation is the first half of D, so D would follow right?

I know this is a last ditch effort to try to turn this around.

So LaBug, you think I should stop trying and just give w what she wants? Mediation and D.

[MrBond]

Seriously you're doing it again. You're asking for what exactly to say, the people here are telling you what to say and yet you continue to argue against it or debate it.

Just "I understand that you feel done and you want a D." is enough.

I can guarantee that if you tell her all that other stuff, she will shut the door on you for good and you will only be able to talk to her through the lawyers.

[labug]

I don't have a crystal ball, I don't know what's next or whether you can turn your marriage around.

You can turn you around if you put in the work.

I do know that every time you continue to beg her to do something she doesn't want to do, you are reminding her why she wants out.

The choice is yours, my friend, continue as you have been or change.

[dorightman]

Got it, thanks everyone!

[MrBond]

I don't think you do. Do you understand why everyone crossed out that last part?

[dorightman]

Yes, I feel, I want, I,I,I.........

[dorightman]

Should I respond to her last letter?

[MrBond]

Yes you should, but keep it short and full of validations.

"W,

I understand how you have gotten to this point and I want to thank you for being as patient as you have been with me. I understand your feelings of wanting a D and always wanted for you to just be happy. I do understand that you have done "the work" and I was just too stubborn to realize that, etc."

Start off with something like that.