Just got the bomb this morning (2nd time counting the one 5 yrs ago). I'm going to take people's advice and stick to this forum/post and see if we can get some good dialog going. I really need help!
About the OM: I got the same "this isn't a passing fancy," "we really have a connection," and "we talk for hours," etc. as when this happened before, but the first guy is now referred to as "a total jerk". She's wise to my change in attitude because she says I'll just "rationalize it (the relationship with OM). Who she has maintained is non-physical - just talking for hours. And "I can't explain it."
You might think I should just give up because this is the second time she's done this, but I totally understand why she needed to reach out to someone else. I was impossible to live with - I can blame jobs stress, health issues, etc. but it was no excuse for the way I acted.
She also can't seem to use the D word. She says "we should talk about separating our finances," and she doesn't want to string me along with false hopes. But, she said last week she'd like to get together for movies and dinners, but that's it for right now.
Here's my question: how do I respond? Is it not a good LRT to state I would like to not rush into a D? She was willing to wait 8 wks before for my stress reduction/pain management sessions to be done. I have not responded at all so far. How can I do this without saying anything negative about OM and that relationship. I'm tempted to not mention it in any way, and just keep any talk focused on our relationship.
