He has left his family without even trying and the worst part about the whole thing is that he blames you for everything. I am sorry but that is not the kind of man/father I want to be married to. You deserve better then this guy.
DITTO!!!!
Although I still don't understand the blame thing...why continue. Especially in most sitches where they have gone off and have gotten "what they want". We LBS's should be blaming them and angry with them, not the other way around.
This is the most puzzling of all...
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
Oh, And my MLC'er says I am being spiteful and vindictive...when I have done nothing to him other then to let him go live the life he "wanted". Without any interference from me.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
Me on the other hand, will take whatever I am awarded I have no demands or entitlement theories. The award is what it is, and I will not fight for any more or less than what is awarded. So, I say to h3ll with what H thinks...just let the judge decide.
I concur. I wish I could have someone go into my house when H is there and watch, unbeknownst to H, and make a conclusion based on that. I am to the point where we just lay it on the line with the judge and let the hammer come down.
And about the medicinal help, I have been on antidepressants for over a year and they have helped me immensely. I can tell when I have forgotten to take them. Mine are more for anxiety than depression, but they do help. Even my kids have noticed that I don't freak out as much.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Oh, And my MLC'er says I am being spiteful and vindictive...when I have done nothing to him other then to let him go live the life he "wanted". Without any interference from me.
Add that to the script because mine spouts it constantly. If we don't agree happily and willingly to go along with whatever they want, we are spiteful. And if we fight for what we rightfully should have, we are vindictive.
Well hand me my broom baby. Let's ride. WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Mine are more for anxiety than depression, but they do help.
Me too! Stress and anxiety!
Quote:
Add that to the script because mine spouts it constantly.
Ohhh so that is script you say! LOL! I am still learning what is script and what is truth...Guess it makes sense when you put it that way.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
WH, You can have someone go into your home and watch your h. Get a baby cam and set it up. He'll never know it's there is you do it right. LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
The PROZAC has been a savior for me. I highly recommend. I was reluctant but my reluctants was not smart. Take whatever help you can get.
And when I say I was reluctant I was determined not to go on them. I was still breastfeeding and was not planning on stopping at that point my daughter had just turned 1. It was unbearable for me to think that I would have to ween her just at the time her father was leaving us but the prozac allowed me to mother her in ways i would not have been able to.
Also in my opinion - therapy goes hand and hand with the meds. Please do not go with the first therapist that you meet (unless you know for sure) if you have any doubts trust your gut and move on to someone else. I am on my third therapist since this started and he is my guy. The other 2 early on were amatures in comparison. The first 2 therapist ladies were hippy-dippy woman which is what I thought I wanted but now I have a buttoned up guy around my age, exactly what I didnt except to prefer but he is da bomb. He doesnt let me get away with any of this self pity crap but he also lets me cry for the entire session if I need too. he is savior as you all of you!
Also try Alanon, I love it.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
BRNR, WH and BM, thank so much for the feedback on ADs. I know I waited way too long to discuss them with my doctor along with anti-anxiety meds. I kept telling myself that I could get through this without meds. I was feeling so bad that I couldn't get it together on my own. I really felt like I had failed. I wanted to take the advice here - PMA, GAL - but I just couldn't do it. I've actually gotten worse the last few months. I want to feel better. I still have a lot more to deal with, but I don't want to keep putting my life on hold just waiting for all of the pieces to fall into place. Now that I've actually made the decision to try meds I can't get to the doctor soon enough. How long did it take to notice a difference?
So, finally, some good news. My Mom's blood test came back and her tumor markers dropped 40 points. The chemo is working. We can't know what that means for the future, but at least she's getting better, if only slightly. I'm encouraged.
Also, the boys and I received a fabulous gift today. My best friend sent us first class plane tickets so we can visit her family in Dallas later this summer. We are all so overwhelmed by her love and generosity. (While we're there I will be looking at homes to buy. Moving is my Plan B.) It felt so good to give the boys something to look forward to. We haven't been able to go anywhere since xh has tied up my money. He, on the other hand, has been tossing money around and living it up. Well, I doubt he has been shown the love and support that I've been, both in my physical world and here.
