Bea, I know you're right. I need to look forward, not back, but I'm struggling. This would have been so much easier if xh and I had tried to work on our M, if he would have been kind, if he would have made sure the boys and I were settled and had what we needed before jumping into another R. I've had no closure. I can only guess what's happened to him and us based on information that I've gathered. I don't even know if I'm right. None of this changes anything. It just makes what I need to do harder and more painful.
I really wish I knew that I had meant something to him. That he had really loved and that all our years together weren't a waste. It's so painful to be cast aside and replaced and wonder if I ever mattered.
