BD One Year Later

[hopefulinga]

H and I had an interaction yesterday that I was afraid would blow up, and it didn't. I feel like both of us acted a little differently.

H asked me several weeks ago about getting someone to trim our bushes. I called and got no response, so H said he would get the next person that he saw and I dropped my efforts. About a week ago, he got major PO'd when he was doing yard work and again said he was going to get the next person he saw because I hadn't done anything that he told me to do. I walked away and went back later to see if he wanted me to try again.

Long story short, I've been really busy and haven't had a chance to call. Yesterday D was at home and told me someone was working on the yard. I was irritated because she was home by herself and H didn't let me know, and also because I was about to start making calls and would have appreciated a heads up.

I called H and verified that he asked the person to be there. He didn't attack me for not calling and I didn't attack him for not telling me. So, that is a small step. However, I still think our ability to communicate is one of our biggest issues.

Otherwise, he is still pretty distant. Although one minute we can have a normal converstaion and then his distance switch flips. There is no pattern to any of this.

Our 18th anniversary is 7/15. I have zero expectations.

I asked H to go to an event with me on Sunday to support me for something. He hasn't responded and I have no expectations. I'll have fun no matter what.

Still working on financing for me. H is still blowing money with no clue about cash flow. That continues to amaze me. He knows he is in major debt but continues to spend with no thoughts to the consequences. He thinks he can refinances and pay everything off and be ok, but he is missing that if everything were ok, he wouldn't be in debt.