H asked me to go to his counseling appt last night with him. He then disclosed more information about more affairs during that time, dating two women at a time (sex with both) and meeting women at bars, sexting others. I am just utterly heartbroken again, I had begged him to tell me everything when we got back together. I told him I needed to deal with all of the ugliness at one time and that I never wanted to feel this way again or find out new things in the future. He promised me at the time he was telling me everything.
Yesterday he told me that he wants us to move forward and really heal and for that he needed to tell me everything. And he did (or at least he said he did...again). Even told me one of them texted him a few weeks ago and he communicated back and forth with her for a bit. My head is spinning. It feels like he ripped a scab off my heart and I'm bleeding all over again. He said he didn't tell me then because he didn't want to hurt me more than he already had. I think it's BS.
I don't know what to believe anymore. Is this all there is? Should I even be giving him a third chance? With all of these other issues that have been raised? His BPD tendencies, possible sex addiction...it's all so much.
I really feel the whole fool me once, fool me twice thing here. Except is this fool me three times? And what kind of idiot am I to put myself back in this situation again?
Is this really him hitting the point where he knows there can be no more secrets...I don't know if I can ever, ever trust him again. I was getting there, rebuilding that, and then this happens. I wonder if I should move out of piecing and start a new WTF section for those in a black hole.
