One of W's complaints at MC was about me helping out around the house, which has been very difficult whilst depressed, but in DB mode on the weekend (and the past couple of weeks), I have been doing the dishes, washing the floors, doing laundry, etc.
It's great that your W noticed this, but don't expect any points for it. I went crazy after BD and took EVERYTHING over, both my chores and W's chores. W noticed it and said something about it, but about 6 months later she finally told me that it had in fact made her angry! She said she felt like I was trying to push her out of the picture and do everything myself. You really can't do anything to make a WAS happy, whatever you do is going to be interpreted by them in a negative light. Sandi2 has talked about this in her posts (she was a WAW), the WAS just flat out doesn't want to like the LBS and won't see good in anything they do no matter how selfless. I'm still glad I did it because it prepared me for life after W moved out. Once she moved out it wasn't as big a shock because I was used to doing everything by then.
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It is hard to not discuss it when that's the thing I want to resolve
Believe me, I tried discussing it with my W from every angle (before discovering DB). IT DOES NOT WORK. It makes things worse. Don't do it!
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What is the warning sign that it's OK to discuss again?
It'll never be OK for you to initiate it, unless you're doing it because you want D. It's OK to talk about it if your W brings it up, but if/ when she does remember to validate her. Don't talk, just listen.
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and am planning to run tonight (I used to be able to do 5K and I think I might make it 5 yards)
That's perfectly fine. GAL is getting out and doing SOMETHING. Then getting out and doing a little more. And a little more. It's hard at first, I had to force myself out of the house kicking and screaming. But the more you do it the less you have to fight yourself and the more you WANT to do. And that's the road to recovery
