PON, I have no idea what the links redirect to the DB homepage unless someone (behind the scenes) made an error. This particular by Smurf was started about 6-7 years ago, so anything could have happened.
What threads are you looking for?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm going to say again that I don't think your W is going through an MLC. An irregardless if she is, MLC is not a disease that can be cured. Don't read things just off the internet about it. A wonderful resource is Women in Midlife Crisis by Jim Conway and his W. They pretty much were the first ones to write all about it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Why don't you think that Bond? Chronic mood swings. Getting a tattoo next week. Stating she never loved me ever. Blames me for all her unhappiness. All of it. From what I read and just from this forum:
WAS: leaves, divorces, never looks back MLC: wishy washy, in out, threatens D never takes action.
I'm not disagreeing with you but want to understand what my W is going through.
Bond what would your advice be on my W stating "we are separated from this point on" she said this after I would not move out again. I mean seriously. Who thinks they can turn a marriage on and off. She is back to ground zero fyi. I was hoping to prevent it by giving space and GAL but honestly as I did more things and acted as if she got more and more distant.
"Why don't you think that Bond? Chronic mood swings. Getting a tattoo next week. Stating she never loved me ever. Blames me for all her unhappiness. All of it. From what I read and just from this forum:
WAS: leaves, divorces, never looks back MLC: wishy washy, in out, threatens D never takes action.
I'm not disagreeing with you but want to understand what my W is going through."
Read the Conway book. There are several triggers that set off a MLC and your W didn't go through any of them with the exception of maybe age. You have to understand that midlife is a "transitional" period that everyone goes through. It's a life change not a disease or illness that can be cured. It's an awareness of how and what you want your life to be like.
"I think she has a mood disorder if not MLC."
I've always thought so.
"Bond what would your advice be on my W stating "we are separated from this point on"
You should have told her..."oh now we are separated? I thought we were when you started acting up again."
"she said this after I would not move out again."
Like I told you before, you need to think of her like a spoiled child. She is stomping her feet and demanding things from you and making threats because you're not giving her what SHE wants. Well you don't need to give her what she wants.
Seriously, the only thing you haven't done is actually stand up for yourself. If she had said that to me, I would have calmly gotten her bags out, packed up her stuff, put them in the car and ask her where she would like to go since SHE is unhappy and you pay for the mortgage so you won't be moving out.
"I mean seriously. Who thinks they can turn a marriage on and off. She is back to ground zero fyi. I was hoping to prevent it by giving space and GAL but honestly as I did more things and acted as if she got more and more distant."
Her acting distant was HER choice. Don't place blame on your actions.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Ok well maybe she has a few symptoms of MLC, definitely has mood disorder, her friend died in May and things went further downhill since then too.
Bond I've started to stick up for myself more. Down vaca house I told her if she was going to act childish she could go home and I would stay with kids and have a great time...
One positive note when she acted like a baby down vaca house. She kept saying "you told me over and over we have to communicate" and then you take off to beach without including me. (not what I did but in her head it was, and yes lack of communication that day) so she is listening that our communication [censored].
I don't take her crap as much and I try to respond in low conflict ways. not to add fuel to the gas.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
