No I'm not Christian I don't belong to any religion. For GAL I have been going to the gym every morning and spending more time with my sons. I need to find more things to do soon
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Tonight I went back to all of my beginning of posting here in DB and I have had a lot of great advice that everyone has shared with me now I have to apply them to my life. 1st I really have to work on stop worrying about if and when H will be home. 2nd I need to start sleeping much better at nights. 3rd I need to start making myself into the better person for myself and my boys. 4th as soon as I can afford it I really want to have a make over to improve the way I look and how i feel about myself. And most of all I really need to give H all the space I can give him to run his course with OW and to stop all communications with H until he speaks to me first tomorrow is going to be a new day heading to the gym in The morning then to work after that. Thank you to everyone that has been so supportive to myself and by two sons. I know I have a super long way to go and there are going to be many many downs and hopefully more ups also. I need to learn to be super patients with this whole process this is the hardest part for me to be patient.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
That's great! You're so right, patience is difficult especially when you are impatient like I am. I call patience a swear word The other important thing is when you start seeing improvements that your H has towards you, do NOT start losing patience. You must still carry on with the 180 and Sandi's rules. Only when he has made a commitment to you that you can start getting closer to him. This is important because I have been there. I have seen my H getting closer to me and so I got closer to him. The next week he told me he was going to see a solicitor! There's going to be a lot of hurt and heartache, I still get hurt even now, but it's a lot easier to bear. Once you GAL then that's when things start to get easier. You will be riding a roller coaster in the next few months, but the big dipper will soon turn into a little dipper Keep posting on here and we'll be here to support you
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Thank you I really appreciate it very much. Yes you are right I'm also impatient about this situation. And I know its going to be super tough cause knowing that the OW is giving H everything he wants that I should have given to him a long time ago. And I do hope that one day he will return to our family. And I know in my head that I have to prepare for if he doesn't come back to our family.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
You've probably hear this said on here before - you must be the wife that your H wants to come home to. He will soon get fed up of this OW, once he starts seeing her flaws. It took my H 8 months to realise that he is better off at home, that was 12 years ago. It may take longer this time as my H is not with an OW.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
OK I just have to keep trying to move forward I need to really GAL going for me. Just wish there were things to do in this small town I'm in. Just to do something fun here I'll have to drive at lease couple of hours to do anything. My self and The boys only can go to the park for while it does get boring after awhile or just hanging out in the back yard is boring too. I would like to go back to the drive in again but I have to save money for that again. My boys and I have fun doing that. So that is my new goal to save my extra change so we can go back to the drive in.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
OK I just have to keep trying to move forward I need to really GAL going for me. Just wish there were things to do in this small town I'm in. Just to do something fun here I'll have to drive at lease couple of hours to do anything. My self and The boys only can go to the park for while it does get boring after awhile or just hanging out in the back yard is boring too. I would like to go back to the drive in again but I have to save money for that again. My boys and I have fun doing that. So that is my new goal to save my extra change so we can go back to the drive in.
So you are out on a desert island in the middle of nowhere? lol. Have you got a local community centre or a library? Maybe you can find groups that are going on there. Have you tried searching single parent groups and your town or state? Another way to have fun and earn a bit of cash is to have a boot sale or a yard sale. You can even get your sons to sort through some of their stuff that they want to sell. My son loved this, he had his own table and made his own money. It will encourage him to part with more stuff next time What about your children's friends? Maybe you can invite them over to play. Take a picnic to the park, go swimming. Do you have a leisure centre near you? There's normally lots going on there as well If there's nothing going on in your town, then go to the next town and see if there's anything going on there. Check your local paper for events happening in your area. Let me know how you get on
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
OK I just have to keep trying to move forward I need to really GAL going for me. Just wish there were things to do in this small town I'm in. Just to do something fun here I'll have to drive at lease couple of hours to do anything. My self and The boys only can go to the park for while it does get boring after awhile or just hanging out in the back yard is boring too. I would like to go back to the drive in again but I have to save money for that again. My boys and I have fun doing that. So that is my new goal to save my extra change so we can go back to the drive in.
I hear you on finding things to GAL. My son loved the drive-in but we went on a company funded night so it was free to us. Would love to take him back, but like you gotta save the spare change. I tried googling free activities in my area and came up with an extensive list - not that everything on there would be of interest to me and/or S13, but it was start and we found a few things S13 wants to do. He's gotten a bit clingy over the last few weeks - not that I blame him - but getting him out of the house is certainly helping.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Was reading your thread and wanted to stop by to send support and best wishes your way!
"1st I really have to work on stop worrying about if and when H will be home. 2nd I need to start sleeping much better at nights. 3rd I need to start making myself into the better person for myself and my boys. 4th as soon as I can afford it I really want to have a make over to improve the way I look and how i feel about myself. And most of all I really need to give H all the space I can give him to run his course with OW and to stop all communications with H until he speaks to me first tomorrow is going to be a new day heading to the gym in The morning then to work after that."
All of those sound like great ideas! Even a mini-makeover could do wonders! I get on Pinterest a lot to look up outfit refresher ideas with things I already have in my closet, or how to buy one new piece (like a great top or skirt) and wear it multiple ways with things I already own. Also, going and getting a new lipstick or nail polish in a fun color may help brighten up your appearance and make you feel good. Again with Pinterest (haha, I love that site!), I get a lot of hairstyle and hair do ideas as well as make up tricks. I haven't done this yet, but I have a friend who goes to garage sales almost every weekend and gets really cute tops and outfits for really cheap - and a lot of the clothes still have tags on them!
Exercise will also be a good outlet for some of your stress and anxiety. To quote Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy."
Me: 27 H: 27 Together: 11, M: 3 S 2 BD: 06/24/13 Living together H: EA - unknown current status Read: DB, 5LL (slowly reading DR) Back and forth we go...
Was reading your thread and wanted to stop by to send support and best wishes your way!
"1st I really have to work on stop worrying about if and when H will be home. 2nd I need to start sleeping much better at nights. 3rd I need to start making myself into the better person for myself and my boys. 4th as soon as I can afford it I really want to have a make over to improve the way I look and how i feel about myself. And most of all I really need to give H all the space I can give him to run his course with OW and to stop all communications with H until he speaks to me first tomorrow is going to be a new day heading to the gym in The morning then to work after that."
All of those sound like great ideas! Even a mini-makeover could do wonders! I get on Pinterest a lot to look up outfit refresher ideas with things I already have in my closet, or how to buy one new piece (like a great top or skirt) and wear it multiple ways with things I already own. Also, going and getting a new lipstick or nail polish in a fun color may help brighten up your appearance and make you feel good. Again with Pinterest (haha, I love that site!), I get a lot of hairstyle and hair do ideas as well as make up tricks. I haven't done this yet, but I have a friend who goes to garage sales almost every weekend and gets really cute tops and outfits for really cheap - and a lot of the clothes still have tags on them!
Exercise will also be a good outlet for some of your stress and anxiety. To quote Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy."
Good ideas I've yet to start my gym classes, lol. I like pinterest as well, loads of really good ideas Over here in the UK we have a TV programme called superscrimpers which has got loads of ideas for searching for free activities, upcyling your clothes and shoes and other really good tips. You can search on the internet for channel 4, then go to scrapbook and find superscrimpers there
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
The other important thing is when you start seeing improvements that your H has towards you, do NOT start losing patience. You must still carry on with the 180 and Sandi's rules. Only when he has made a commitment to you that you can start getting closer to him. This is important because I have been there. I have seen my H getting closer to me and so I got closer to him. The next week he told me he was going to see a solicitor! There's going to be a lot of hurt and heartache, I still get hurt even now, but it's a lot easier to bear. Once you GAL then that's when things start to get easier. You will be riding a roller coaster in the next few months, but the big dipper will soon turn into a little dipper