Here's the thing. For months all you could think about was getting your wife back. You werent thinking about what it would entail, how she's changed, how you've changed and what you would need to do in order for it to work.
And now that you are piecing, all of that has to be dealt with. They dont say piecing is the hard part for nothing.
You are both different people, C. SO there are going to be growing pains. You both need to learn how to deal with each other in new ways. Which is a good thing. You dont want the same marriage, right?
I am not so sure it was a bad thing for you to say you werent sure if this is what you wanted. I think there was an element of truth in there. And saying you werent sure was being honest. So dont be too hard on yourself in that instance.
But, yes, I have seen where your words and tone could be hurtful. And now I am just being honest. That is something you need to continue to work on.
I think you do that as a defense mechanism. It happens when you are feeling challenged by the trust issues.
I think it is best for you to acknowledge to yourself that you have trouble trusting her. It is going to take time and consistent behavior on her part to earn your trust.
But it is going to take time and consistent behavior on your part for her to believe the changes are real from you.
So, it is important for you to take great care when you use your words.
This is a two way street, C. Takes effort on both sides.
The most important thing is that you have both acknowledged that you want to work on this.
This is a long process, C.
My advice is the same it's been all along. Slow and steady.
