wow - talk about insane highs and lows. you are doing good i think & takin care of you- you are not suicidal or depressed yourself. you recognize the signs of the lows - you do not get ecstatic over any "highs".....
I don't get ecstatic over the "highs", quite opposite I am suspicious of them and untrusting of the outcome.
SO, if that's how I feel, than what is left of the R for me to hold on to, the past, the could have been?
Is this true detachment and where I should be emotionally. Is it normal that I am content w letting go. I asked God for the strength to let him go, move ahead in front of this R, leaving him to himself.
I envy those of you can can say they still L their H's, I am acting lovingly out of respect for the M, thought this M has little respect.
His depression makes him quite a sick man and me the one lives with the fallout. I do feel for him, have empathy, but I can't get past the fact that he won't take some effort to work on himself.
This is being discussed on Linda's thread, and I am going to stay away from that conversation, but to me and my sitch...5 yrs is a long time, and without any effort on H's part for change, it looks like it is what it is, and I am where I am w this.
Which way do I go from here? I have small peeks of wanting to "let him" be tender and nice to me, even staying open to a man who one day want's to put in an effort for change, but I don't have expectations, so again, why not just move forward.
If he ever follows through on becoming a healthy man he may be surprised to see that I'm not there and if he chooses, than maybe he can purse me, I guess.
Now, how to get started w my new phase!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
