NERO here- don't let me float away anybody

[albamarie]

I see myself as white...pure, innocent OH! Goodness!
Others see me as a dolphin...smart, free, sweet
I think of sex like a lake...calming, familiar, fun, beautiful
I see death as lonely, sad and anxious.

Goodness Nero, I am a hopeless case, I should just jump into a fairy princess story where I am guaranteed a happy ending. No wonder H rocked my world so much, I'm a sap!

Sorry to hear about your mom, gosh it's hard trying to handle someone else's life, even when it's a parent.

Thanks for the encouragement on my thread, you had some good points about me being on the right track. I think I'm doing fine also, but I still would like to have this behind me already.

With the baby coming soon and fall, winter, and holiday's, all that just makes me sad that I am not with someone I L and not being treated lovingly. I'm so done w this and the around-the-corner sh!t still to come. Whether he stays or goes there is more to face, uugg, I just want it over.

I have rattled this in my mind for a long while now, and I am pretty sure I would rather start a new, than put faith into this R. There is nothing here, he doesn't insult me, or act mean, or even ignore me, he's just who he is and it's nothing about that says, woohoo to me!

It's been so long now that I don't have any reason or want to be who I was w him. Last night I plopped down next to him as I used to and said whatcha watching...then I got a little close as the movie got more intense...soon I realized this would never be enough for me anymore.

Stuck, is an understatement! I'm forced to be someone I don't want to be anymore. I don't want him to call me Mamá any more...I don't want to share my room, or talk about his work schedule, or nothing. I have it bad...I want out, I want him out.

I'm not angry...or hormonal (as usual) or sad, or dep, I'm quite content with my where I am at right now in my thinking.

Hey Nero, what do you think about getting on with life not concerning yourself or wondering any more about the past, or present w H? Watch the more I reveal this attitude the more he'll pull me in?