Lots of good stuff. I'm hung up on the part about being there for each other. Maybe it's just semantics, but if the intention is to be there for someone (i.e. offer support) then the whole point is to do it in a way that works for them. Yes, it has to be something you can live with, too, but if it's perceived as pressure or anything other than support, then it's not what you're intending it to be.
As with love languages, does it make sense to insist that the other person get comfortable hearing the LL that you prefer to speak?
Or maybe it's not about being there for her, but rather being comfortable in yourself when you're with her. More about being there for yourself. That makes perfect sense.
Here's some enticement to check out Pia Mellody's CDs on Boundaries: Enforcing boundaries is largely an internal job. It rarely involves announcements to others. Doesn't that sound easy?
I agree SD, however isn't it up to the other person to let us know how they feel about what we are doing/saying? If I think I am reaching out in a loving way and they perceive it differently and don't say anything until they are frustrated and blow up...
Am I wrong or misunderstanding what is being said?
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
