Hi NQ, some advice on getting people to read your thread. Post often, even a couple of times a day (I know, seems crazy but otherwise you fall way back and no one sees it) and post to others. They will often return the favor by posting to you.

Sorry you find yourself in this predicament but you can emerge from this a better version of yourself no matter what happens with the marriage. I know you want to save it, that may also be possible.

It sounds like you're doing what you need to do. What are you doing to GAL? New things, fun things? After I came out of the fog elicited by the BD, I made it a habit to say yes to more. So I did some things I wasn't really interested in but have found some other really fun things.

You'll have down days, accept them for what they are, don't beat yourself up about it.

You say your H was married twice before but both marriages were short, one produced 2 children. That requires a certain amount of time.

Why did those marriages end? Why doesn't he have contact with his older children?

Why do you think your H left?

If you could change one or two things about you, what would it be?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss