Linda, I believe my xf is in crisis too. The last conversation we had as friends (about a month before bomb) she told me she was "making up for lost time" from having her oldest child when she was young by bartending and staying out late. She left out the part about cozying up to H behind my back.
When she came to talk to me at work a few months ago, I was struck by the coldness in which she spoke of her H. So while I have felt my H slowly warming up to me and inching his way towards me, I sensed nothing but anger, resentment, and coldness towards her H.
So I don't see her ending this affair anytime soon.
How can she live with herself? Who knows. I suspect through the rewriting of history and warped perception that these MLCers have. I have no idea what her kids think. Since they are teenagers, I'm sure they have noticed that mom has been different. If her and her H aren't getting along, I'm sure they notice that too.
I can't even imagine how heartbreaking that must have been for you that your H was actually normal for five months, then back into replay. Sorry for all the pain you have endured.
My H's withdrawal and depression - I think it was him cycling through for the first time. Maybe he was really feeling the guilt of his new PA. Maybe he and his xbf had a falling out around that time that I am not privy too. I remember my H telling me sometime in March 2012 that he was a failure as a father, husband, and friend.
Seems like he got heavy into the A around that time, and has been there ever since. But all his running is catching up with him...
UW, forget about making the raincoat, I like the burial suit better. Actually, make that a burial urn. I want to cremate that phone to make sure it's never coming back!
I know you get how hurtful and hard this really is. It helps Who would have thought we would ever have to endure seeing our H's act this way with another woman?
"Trying so hard to impress someone so unworthy"
That pretty much sums it up for me.
One of the arguments H and I had weeks before bomb was that I felt like he didn't take our M seriously, that he didn't put any effort into our R. The next day, H came to me and said, "I've had some time to think about it, and you are right. I do need to put more of an effort into our M" and gave me a big hug.
Obviously, he didn't follow through with that. Instead, he puts all his effort into her.
But you are right (of course ) I had the whole man, not the shell that makes himself into something that he's not.
And yes, I don't really know how it is between them. But the fact that there is anything between them is bullsh!t. Just sayin
~~~~~~~~~~~
H comes up to bed a little before 2:00 am. After a few moments, he whispers to ask me to scratch his back. That turns into putting lotion on his back, arms and hands. He lays there for a few more minutes, starts wildly scratching again, then goes back downstairs without another word. I heard him turn on the tv downstairs. This morning, he said it was another night of very little sleep.
Keep on keepin on folks.
Happy Monday!
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Who would have thought we would ever have to endure seeing our H's act this way with another woman? 
