"I think she uses H for attention to build her non- existent self- esteem, for sex, and for money/gifts/trips. If we're going with the high school mentality, he's the very good looking, popular, captain of the football team prom king (literally!) He wouldn't have given her the time of day in high school, would have considered her beneath him.
Now she keeps his balls in her purse, as she keeps him on a short leash. Pathetic and sad. I wish he would grow up, man up, ask for his balls back, and tell her fat nasty a$$ to take a hike. Again, a girl can dream can't she..."
That IS pathetic and sad TVS, on both their parts. Your H is going thru a MLC, but what's her excuse? FT probably thinks she's hot stuff, having such a good looking man on such a short leash. But how pathetic that she has chosen a married man. How can she live with herself? What must her children think?
I remember someone writing on some thread, maybe T^2, that the OW and lyin eyed spouse fill some need in each other while he's working his way thru the crisis. Your H seems to be moving right along, seems to be making some progress. It sounds like he's trying to repair his R with the boys too.
This has been a long haul for you T. You wrote "But I don't want to rush things, want him to see the light all on his own and be willing and able to make amends and do the work to rebuild. If that never happens, it is on him not me." that is very wise. I do not doubt he'll be taking his balls back soon and moving on to the next stage of MLC. Although I think I remember you saying once that your H already went thru that withdrawal thing, then dipped back into replay? That's the same thing that my H did, he was withdrawn for almost a year then went back into replay. Heartbreaking.
They're so hard to live with, frightening even, when they're so depressed and withdrawn, but it's less hurtful than when they're having a phoney love affair with a Hussy! But I don't think your H's Hussy has too much longer left on her shelf life.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
