Lost, confused and trying to make a stand

[brobafet]

I'm hurting today. The loss of eleven years is very tangible. I have kept busy but my mind wonders. I would love to give W a piece of my mind. Actually I would love her to feel an iota of the pain I'm feeling right now. I know she is hurting. I don't know. I want a hug from her...I'm rambling I know but these thoughts need to get out. I want relief from this hole in my heart. I want to heal. I want the past three months as a do over.