They are guidelines based on MWDs's work, that are GENERAL in nature.
Of course there are exceptions. But it's more than that. There are some "rules" that are suggestions for if/when they apply to YOUR situation... There is NO ONE for whom all the rules will apply, b/c there are inherently contradictory "rules" (b/c your 180s will vary!). Make sense?
Think of it this way. As an example, IF YOUR 180 is to give gifts, (b/c you rarely gave them before OR you did not put much thought into it, or you bought gift certificates b/c they were easier, etc)
and your wife SAID (or you somehow KNOW) she wishes you spoke her "love language", which is gifts
and then on your anniversary you give NO gifts b/c you say "that's what the RULES told me to do so I would not be pursuing her...", then you would be missing the point big time.
The 180s and the legit needed changes you want to make in you, are THE BIG rules....follow them first!
(And of course always ask yourself if what you are about to do or say is going to move you TOWARDS your goal or just get something off your chest...
The rest of the 37 or 40 or whatever it is now, follow, but if/when they conflict, then THINK about the big picture.
Okay? Hope that helps, b/c the rules are NOT to be confusing. If they are confusing you then don't use them.
Hang in there and keep asking for clarification. You may have to go find the vets who can best answer b/c I think you'll get LESS confused. And I know that feels a lot better than the confusion this situation first brings...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
