You have been more than patient, understanding, kind and reasonable. You can always hold your head up and know that you've done everything that you could have done. Your h is in need of a lot more help than you can offer to him. He needs some serious therapy. That is for HIM to first, admit and then seek.
As to what to do next. I believe that should a mediator become involved it will make the whole process a lot more equitable. They are suppose to be a neutral party and I think you'll do much better on your settlement. And btw, the laws in your state need some serious change. When this is all said and done I would make it my mission to contact the Senators, Legislators and whomever else will listen to do just that. Just because it's more of an emotional contract/decree that we sign when we agree to marry someone, it's no different than signing a contract for purchase of goods and services. People that try to break contracts need to be accountable!
I have no words of wisdom or advice other than that your h is crazy to be you letting go. My prayers are with you. I'll be thinking good and positive thoughts tomorrow afternoon as well. Take care of yourself.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
