Up in the air, LONG

[Demoted26]

Thanks for the replies, I responded then hit the back button on my phone & it all got erased. I'm too depressed to go back & write it all again right now.

H left today, he asked me to use our joint account to pay certain bills with his check. I paid the cell phone. The bill started fresh on the 3rd, he spent the weekend here texting someone 209 times (not in front of us). No wonder he was distracted & "didn't hear me" several times I spoke to him over the weekend. His mind was elsewhere. It was obvious, but he would turn it around & play it off. Whatever. Now I know.

H also texted me he was in work week town, but then I see a call to his moms house 8 minutes after he texted me that he was "there"(thats where he insinuated he was, his moms ).
His EA bi friend lives in the same town he's currently in. Now I have suspicions he's with her, at her place. Her W lives near the city we have our house in, here, 2 hours away.
Convenient, no? I have no proof, but my womans intuition is on red alert.

I said I was feeling done the other day, I'm not..but I'm tired of being ignored, hurt, made to feel disposable.
My BFF just moved to WI, she left an empty house behind in NM. It's been offered to me. It's part of the Countywide mortgage scandal, so can't be sold nor foreclosed upon. I'm seriously considering packing up & going. She said theres no rent!
This will screw over D though. She is getting promoted at work, doing well...I hate to uproot her, but H threatened to kick her out this weekend, & I know she wants to go with me if I move. This is all so complicated. If we move we'd both be unemployed, with no savings, neither knowing anyone in the new state.
I'm scared, but I don't know which situation is worse.

H is going camping in 2 weeks, so he said he needs to save every penny so he can go & have a good time. H left me no food or gas money. I'm sure I could use $30 or so without too much backlash...but this is BS.
H also told me today he's very uncomfortable coming home anymore. Now thats D fault....she's "mean" to him. Booo hoo, HE is mean to her too.

The fun, and blame game, never ends.

I do not want this with every fiber of my being, but I'm just so damn tired. I feel beaten down emotionally.

Now it's ME wanting to run away.