What the...?

[lovethehub]

Completely frustrated and tired of the same old, same old.

H and S were watching a movie earlier today and I was on this site replying to someone, I heard H coming down and I minimized the site for no reason other than the fact that we aren't supposed to broadcast to them that we are "DBing". He asked what I closed out of so I told him "that site I like to go on" He knew I meant this and he went back upstairs.

Later, I went out to float in the pool, after a while they came out to play baseball, everything seemed normal until I tried to talk to H. He was very abrupt and sounded like he was mad. It started to rain so I went inside.

It cleared up quick and he was outside in the chair with his head back. He seems to do this when he is upset about something or thinking about us. He came in the house and was still acting the same way. I should have just walked away but I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing. I left for about 10 minutes, came back in the room and said "Are you sure nothing is wrong, you seem upset?" (This was about 2-3 hours after he came downstairs when I was on the computer) He said something about not knowing what I was doing when I was on the computer and why I was closing out of stuff. I just said "I didn't know you didn't believe me. I wish you would have been honest right then and said you were having a hard time accepting that as the truth because I could have shown you what I was doing, the site was minimized not closed." I said now it is too late for me to show you that I was doing what I said. I asked him not to keep things quiet that are upsetting him because it is more of the same behavior and things can't change if we do the same thing. He looked at me and said angrily "Yes, it IS more of the same behavior" I told him that I understood why it made him uncomfortable and said "Is there any other behavior I have been showing that would make you question me?" He said "No, but you did in the past"

At this point I asked him to try to stay focused on my current behavior and to let me know what he needs when things come up. Then he started getting mad and telling me how he works 14 hours a day and I get mad when his car isn't where he says he will be. I said "I am not sure why you are bringing up something from a month or two ago and if you have anger about how much you are working when I'm not, let's discuss it" (I didn't bother to mention that he chose to go back into management which will require these hours regardless of how much I am working).

He stormed off refusing to talk about it. I was getting dressed to leave and he came in and grabbed his hat so I said "Are you two going somewhere?" and he said no. So I went to leave the house and he was nowhere in sight. I called and asked where he was and he said he went for a bike ride. When I said I just asked if you were leaving, I need to go to the store and S doesn't want to go, he said "NO, you asked if we were both leaving". I said "Enjoy your bike ride honey". I was actually going to exchange his clothes that didn't fit..he can do it himself.

I honestly don't even feel like trying anymore when every little thing sends us back to the starting line. We haven't talked in 3 hours.