Being patient.

[reachingHigher]

I'm so sorry, Mtnman. I didn't think about it being so different for me since I'm female. I would have custody of S13 when we D. I know it's so difficult for single dads especially when the mom isn't doing her part!

Are you maintaining two households? Is she working? I forget. Would legal separation be an attractive option to protect finances?

Would keeping on the way you are but putting limits on your time together instead of encouraging it, let you ride this out emotionally, a little longer?

It seems you fall apart mostly when seeing her and getting close to interacting with her the way you used to. Is it possible to limit that?

You know my H didn't really change his mind till we were almost D (5 days short of it) and he really knew he was going to lose me or us. So....I feel bad saying to not decide to file. It's just a horribly scary place to be.

Just wondered if you could pull back on interactions with her. Like don't discuss future plans (pool, vacations) and don't invite her over unexpectedly where you had an encounter where she was dressed up.

It hurt me terribly to see or know my H dressed for other women (which he did admit later). It's better not to have to see that. I've fallen apart so many times. I really feel for you Mtnman.

Even yesterday I cried (privately) off and on for two hours. Just the grief bubbling up of the last two years. But it's really worth it. This new R I have with my H is really worth it.

Like climbing a mountain barefoot and arriving bleeding, hungry and thirsty and having a banquet and first aid at the top. You're glad you got there but the climb nearly destroyed you.