You know I'm not against filing for D. Heck, I did it myself. But it can't be a knee-jerk reaction. It can't be hoping to shake some sense into her, or hoping to get out of her life. She will always, always be in your life.
She may not be done with you, even if you are done with her. But maybe you should give it a few days and cool off a little.
It's harder, so to speak, when she treats you physically like you described when she was dressed up. I remember T^2 telling me some advice last fall as my H was always wanting to touch me and sometimes in "those" kinds of ways while we were preparing for D. He said something like "firmly" remove his arm, etc. Treat him like a co-worker.
Oh, I sure didn't want to, even though I knew T was right! What I mostly ended up doing was avoiding being near H or saying no to touch. I knew once he touched me I would melt. So I just had to struggle with the "I want you" eyes and the compliments.
It's a tough line.
Mtnman, others may give you some more helpful advice. You might try withdrawing a little, not letting her touch you, and waiting for filing for D, or maybe thinking things through how you really want it to be if the D should go through.
You are in this woman's life forever whether you're M or not.
I heard a country song recently,
I don't wanna be part of your fun, Don't wanna be under your thumb All I wanna be is…done
Are you really there? Or just want the pain to stop? Some of the pain can stop if you withdraw somewhat from her. It will protect YOU and your feelings and give you time to think about this very serious decision.
Always wishing you the best, rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
