I think you misread. What does NOT giving her a D look like?
If you say, "No, W, over my dead body. I am NOT GIVING you a D!" what happens different? Play it out in your head. How much can you resist her, and does that get you the accolades for standing up for marriage that you might be hoping for?
On the second question, OK, so run with that. Let's say you decide NOT to use DB techniques any more. So you will do the opposite. You will not get a life or doing anything fun, you will focus entirely on her and be emotionally dragged around by her moods and behavior, you will unlovingly not-validate and argue what she wants to talk about. You will be a bad dad and as unhelpful to her as possible, and give her NO space and NO time. You will not try to be a better person. Are you suggesting that is a legitimate choice that is currently on the table? Once you know DBing I don't see how you might decide to stop, but I'm really curious what stopping really looks like to you and if that is really on the table. Just trying to help you answer the question you posed.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
