Raine, The last paragraph of your posting made me think of a book that I had read many years ago, which may be helpful to you as you continue to walk the path w/your h. The book is entitled "Silent Sons", written by Robert J. Ackerman. It is an excellent read not only for you, but for you h (when the time is right). It will help you to better understand how some issues are passed down generation to generation by the men. It may help to stop the pattern in your family.
I think you are doing a great job...you are a wonderful mother.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
