Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

[dorightman]

That does not sound like the worst possible outcome at all, sorry. How about bitter, fighting lives, children with emotional problems, suicide attempts? How about can't sell the house, foreclosure, bankruptcy? If you look for things to be positive you will find them, and if you define utter devastation as divorce, coparenting, and moving on, then that is what it will be for you. You choose

Of course I would choose the positive. My w since the start of all this has been justifying the positive outcome and saying that if it were negative, that would be because of my actions only. Her stance is that if we do this D well, everyone and everything will be ok.

She has a college friend that comes from a D family. Her father moved down the block from the family home and they co-parented successfully. They had family dinners etc. Her friend told my w that the D had no negative effects on her and she now has a wonderful M and children of her own.