I think what is really hard is thinking that not fighting against divorce is like saying it's ok. I have had trouble with that too.

You can fight like crazy against it, have you ever seen any case where that saved a marriage? Fighting like crazy against divorce usually seems to solidify the plan and make it more combative. It's like pulling hard to escape a Chinese finger trap.

Accepting that it is your WAS's need and desire sounds like the worst thing you could possible do if you care about the marriage, but it's the only way that Chinese finger trap can get the space to release its tension. If she ever might change her mind that's the only place she could change it from.

So looking at an amicable divorce as the worst possible outcome, is not helping you.

Is that maybe a little clear?

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.