CV, It's really easy to get hung up on the logical inconsistencies, but when you do that you are effectively changing the subject of the conversation. If I were to guess, I would guess that's why H gives up and shuts up. You speak to him like a lawyer, with all focus on the words and logic. That's an R killer.
How about if you pretend to put some cotton in your ears? Just enough so you can't decipher the words. Then you'd have to focus on the true subject of the conversation - the feelings that H is trying to convey. Just figure them out, observe, and acknowledge them. That's all. No fixing or explaining. Let that be the point of the conversation.
Just for a while, practice responding like a T rather than a lawyer. See if it offers any insights.
By the way, I have a new housemate who I'm much happier with. Still, she does annoying things, some pretty similar to the housemate I found so maddening. I'm having to look hard at how I approach things and how I respond. I arrived home after one particularly stressful week on the road and immediately was livid about half a dozen things.
Bottom line is it's all about me. If I don't do the (uncomfortable, hard for me) work on my end, then every single person in my space will drive me nuts sooner or later. I keep asking myself if things could have been different and if I booted the former housemate for good enough reasons. Good enough or not, the reasons I didn't want to continue were that a) I didn't want to do all the hard work of taking care of myself and setting boundaries (lame and immature, but I'm just being honest) and b) I wasn't able to tolerate his limitations (shows a lack of compassion, perhaps, and I like to think I'd try harder for a more meaningful R). Anyway, I'm seeing more clearly than ever that my dissatisfaction was all about how I chose to see things and respond.
