Hey RoofRackDude, I'm sorry you find yourself here and in pain.
Also, as you can see by my # of posts I'm fairly new, but I wanted to make two quick comments.
Originally Posted By: RoofRackDude
W is very stubborn and can be very emotionally distant when she feels her version of past events, or future without me, is threatened. I am very careful of what I discuss or how I respond, partly to protect my own emotional well-being, partly to not make her defensive.
How are these conversations about past or future events coming up? If you are bringing things up its recommended you stop doing that and keep your conversations light and fluffy and focused on anything but your relationship or touchy subjects. If it is her, you can go along with what she says and validate without agreeing. She's probably re-writing history a bit and there isn't all that much you can do to convince her otherwise so its often best to just let it go (she'll remember things more accurately in time if you give her the space to do so).
Originally Posted By: RoofRackDude
Although she hasn't asked about the lawyer or found a way to bring it up in more than a week, all I have to go on is her wanting to keep going with the divorce. Not sure what would be positive about this or what I should look for.
You said earlier in your post that she went on a hike with you, had fun and seemed relaxed. If you are trying to figure out what's working I would pay attention to what leads to those kind of good/positive moments rather than stressing about lawyers, a possible divorce etc.
Good luck and keep posting. Moderation will be over for you soon enough.
BD: Aug 2012 Separated since May 2013 S born Aug 2013 Aug 2013 H agrees to consider 'baby steps toward working things out' H is/was actively seeing someone?
and keep your conversations light and fluffy and focused on anything but your relationship or touchy subjects. If it is her, you can go along with what she says and validate without agreeing. She's probably re-writing history a bit and there isn't all that much you can do to convince her otherwise so its often best to just let it go (she'll remember things more accurately in time if you give her the space to do so). 
