I think its normal for you to have regrets.

But looking at things in the rear view mirror offers a skewed image. I have missed a lot of opportunities even as I became more aware You see those opportunities NOW, but at the time they may not have been so visible. And even if they were, well you're not perfect you know. Maybe at the time you were mad, afraid, exhausted - you know, HUMAN.

I'm worried you are beating yourself up a little? Maybe a little is expected and ok, but do keep it in perspective - not everything was up to you to fix, or perform perfectly.

I think what you do about it now, right now, is nothing. Right now you get through your D and get firmly back on your feet. Snodderly and other sages say the D is rarely the end of all communication, especially when there are children. So you will have more opportunities to connect - if you so choose.

smile Best of luck

Me 46 H 56
M 22 yrs
S22, D20, Twin Ss18

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow.
What you stop.
And what you reinforce.
~~~~~~~
A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.