lost and alone now

[TryingToDo180]

Kelela, this happened to me as well. My H didn't tell me exactly what had gone wrong in our marriage until it was too late! I'm sorry that you're suffering
I'll tell you what I did when my H first walked out on me, I decided I was going to get him back no matter what! At first I rushed things and when things started getting better my H panicked I think and probably thought all he wanted to be was a friend and he backed off. Next thing I know, he told me he was going to see a solicitor. I was devasted! There's me thinking that things were getting better between us and all along he was just stringing me along! I thought he was learning to love me again.
This time I'm being very patient and taking each day as it comes. I'm doing a 180 on him, which isn't easy when you're used to phoning them nearly everyday. The tables are starting to turn around and it is H that is contacting me more I'm still taking nothing for granted though and still think in the back of my mind that he is filing for D so he just wants to be friends. I'm just going to wait it out and see what happens
I've gone off topic a bit now. I was going to tell you what I did! I started surfing the internet, I put in exactly what I felt into the search engine and came up with some really positive stories of how couples have started back together again. I am hoping though it's not going to take 2 years for us to be R, I don't know if I can wait that long, lol.
I'm going to give you a few pointers that you can work on if you choose to or not. We're all going through the same heartache and pain, but you must bury that deep inside for the sake of your health and your children.
1. If you have faith in God, give your H over to him and let him look after the situation. Go to Church and Church activities on a regular basis. Try to be in God's presence as much as possible and surround yourself with good Christian friends.
2. Search on the internet for any lone parent groups in your area that you can take your children along to. This really helped me when my H had his affair the first time around. I soon got my life back by going here. You'll meet a lot of people in the same boat as you. I went on holiday with them and was invited out for nights out and parties around people's houses.
3. Come onto the forums regularly and post often, search for inspirational stories on the internet that will lift you up.
4. Read, read and read some more! Reading good self help books really helps. Don't just reading improving your marriage books but books that concentrate on your personal development and PMA.
I hope this helps I know you think that we're nagging you or hitting you with 2x4s but it's only because we care and don't like to think of you suffering I still have dark times, but I try to keep upbeat with PMA and getting out all the time
Speak to you later