Me too! I am afraid some DBers are embracing LRT way before Divorce Remedy recommends. Almost as one of the first things to try, not a last ditch effort.
Dang straight! Many DB'ers don't even recall that NC is part of the Last Resort Technique. To be fair though, most newbies are pursuing way too hard, and need to back off. (read STHU) But if your spouse is in MLC, for years, you already know better than to pursue. You better have a better plan than no (or almost no) contact if you want them to stay, I figure...
If you don't, why would they want to stay?
Originally Posted By: SailingAlone
...it is difficult to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. Last night after dinner at a restaurant and a R talk initiated by my W, when leaving I tried to hold her hand. She had both hands buried in her pockets. She told me it was cold and she wouldn't take her hand out to hold mine.
Sad, and makes it tough to stay together. I always think about the paradox that she is there with you, yet she won't hold you hand and feels inside that she doesn't want to be with you.
Very true. All we can do is give them the space they desire right now, and be there when they are ready. Let them drive while secretly adjusting the wheel every now and then!
Quote:
I think inside she is conflicted and somewhere, deep down she does appreciate you and want to be with you, but on the surface she is unhappy and doesn't want to be with you.
I think so too... I hope so. I mean, it's been a year and a half now, and she's still here. Clearly she doesn't want out that badly.
What are you waiting for sweetheart? Hurry up and recommit to me already!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
