Wow! You learned a lot about the turmoil your H is in. Letting him continue to figure things out including his own acknowledgement about OW is a gift to both of you. As so many have told us here on the boards, it isn't about us. You received confirmation of that.
Your H seems to be feeling a lot of shame. Hopefully he will move beyond it. Even if he's not asking, he needs forgiveness. He also needs time and space to come to terms with himself and what he's done.
I could be completely wrong, but that's what it seems like to me.
