Ive read the rules over and over yet do they really work? I can see maybe or maybe push them further away were is a gurentee something please
Of course there were Never any guarantees, & we cannot offer you any now. The "rules" are merely guidelines sandi assembled, based on DB principles.
Obviously, if your spouse says you "never pursued her" or "ever showed interest" Then SOME of the rules would take a backseat to the 180s.
If you are looking for ANY guarantee then i will only be able to give you a few. I "guarantee" you will Not be more attractive to your spouse by pleading, or radiating misery. It's not appealing & it does Not "prove" your love. I "guarantee" that doing Needed 180's are helpful.
Under All circumstances, becoming the Best YOU possible, i.e., "a man/woman only a fool would leave" gives You the best chance at happiness, with or without your spouses return. Do an honest inventory & strongly consider the feedback your WAS gave you. Then do YOUR work... IF there's a secret to this, that's it. But I think even when you do your work & make permanent needed changes, of course it might still be too little too late.
Does that mean it's not worth it? I sure hope not.
Because if the only reason you are making any changes is to get your spouse back, you're missing the most valuable piece of this journey. Plus your changes are not real, they're tactics.
Stay with an approach long enough to know if it's working. There are rarely fast results in this process. Don't pin your hopes on a few grand gestures.
Consistent changes + sufficient time = change a spouse can believe in.
Make the NEEDED changes in you, b/c You believe they are valid changes You want to make. You'll be a better person & sometimes, that has to be enough.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
