An onion, dance lessons and a Harley III

[subguy]

So much of this internal struggle that I have had these last several months is really a fight with my self. I lost my identity sometimes I feel like it was taken from me: a husband and a father to a family and married 23 years. Perfectionism?? look at me married for 23 years... Why was this important to me? Why did I not value myself enough to have my own identity?!?! This is where I am in a nutshell right now, well at least one struggle I have. Finding me and what is important to me and then living that life to the fullest. I encourage my children to reach for the stars and go for their dreams and yet here I sit... What am I teaching them through my actions?

When I bought my Harley, I asked my D if she thought I would ever do such a thing and she said yes. I said really, why is that and she said because you said you would... Am I being hard on myself? do my children see me differently than i do? These are the kind of thoughts I am dealing with, I question myself almost daily on who I am.

I put a lot of life dreams on hold because I thought that was the grown up thing to do, you know fall on the sword for my family. I am starting to realize there was a responsible way to achieve my dreams and I chose to take the path of nothing. I can see the questions now... so subguy what are your dreams, list them for me, how will you achieve them? I know and I am trying to figure me and that out now.